Sometimes you just have to cook for yourself. No money, no friends, the overwhelming urge to veg in front of the computer and watch random videos on YouTube. The only problem in Miami is sometimes you don't want to stand in front of a hot stove after a long day of helping rich ladies try on Mahnolos; or have to use your brain to figure out some recipe after spending all day sweeping up all the dirty follicley things from the salon floor. Here's a gift-scallop ceviche. Get the big ones, the Sea Scallops, about half a pound. Buy a lime and a tangerine and squirt half the juice on the scallops after you wash and dry them. Refrigerate. Avocado, tomato, cilantro, choppity chop. Refrigerate separately. Small bag of corn nuts. Open and smell. Reserve. After about an hour, and a glass or two of some inexpensive sparkling wine, remove the two bowls of food and combine. Taste for flavor, and add more lime or tangerine as desired, salt and pepper. If you want to make it look real nice, you can slice the scallops and fan them out, real pretty-like. If you're all alone, just dump in a bowl and throw on some corn nuts. More wine.